Who Won The 2016 NFL Draft? (I’ll Tell You Who Didn’t!)

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Who da heck is Carson Wentz? From North Dakota? Seriously? I mean, really? We’re going to win with this guy? Oh well — that’s what they said about David. Wentz is an unknown, unheard of unlikely lad who apparently got the attention of the Eagles Organization and now . . . well, he’s an Eagle. Eagle’s fans can only hope for the best.

In other news, NFL prospect Laremy Tunsil’s Twitter account Thursday night briefly showed a video of the Ole Miss offensive tackle huffing what could have been marijuana through a gas mask attached to a water pipe. Did someone say timing is everything? Poor guy. He still may make millions, but his stock has certainly  stumbled. 

For Tunsil, the timing couldn’t have been worse: Thursday was the night of the NFL Draft in Chicago. Tunsil, one of the highest-rated players in this year’s draft, was initially touted as a possible No. 1 choice, but wound up being picked No. 13 by the Miami Dolphins.

But after news of the video spread, Tunsil’s agent, Jimmy Sexton, defended Tunsil, telling ESPN that the player’s Twitter account had been hacked. In addition, Ole Miss Coach Hugh Freeze told the sports network that the video was “from a long time ago.”

And Finally, Ezekiel Elliot choose to wear a very distracting crop-top shirt to Draft Night. Seriously. A crop-top is the male equivalent of a mid-drift, and there are definitely places ladies should not wear this garment. So the same should go for the guys, right? Walking the NFL Draft’s red carpet on Thursday night, the Dallas Cowboys’ new running back, Ezekiel Elliott, unbuttoned his baby-blue suit, revealed the world’s most distracting male crop top, and surprised everyone with his impeccable abs. (Or were you just looking at his creamy-white pants?)

“I wanted to be a little different than everyone else,” the 20-year-old explained, wearing a silk bow tie and loafers in robin’s-egg blue. “I’m known as the hero in the half-shirt, so I had to go out on the red carpet with a crop top.”

Indeed, he “thinks” he had to: The former Ohio State running back was known for rolling up his jersey during the team’s 2014 national championship season. When the NCAA banned crop tops last year (yes, that really happened), an entire campus fought to see Elliott’s abs: Nearly 12,000 people signed a change.org petition to bring his crop top back, “Because Ohio State and football fans want to see their players continue to wear the things that have made them beloved by fans worldwide.”

It is noted that NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell immediately fined Elliot for the boneheaded “play.” 

So what have we come to? Kids these days, right? You don’t have to do something unbecoming or stupid or unorthodox to be different and defy conventional wisdom. Being yourself is one thing; going out on a limb just because you want to is another.

One thought on “Who Won The 2016 NFL Draft? (I’ll Tell You Who Didn’t!)

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